Lessons I learnt in the Gym Part 1: Why everybody should have a coach
There are a lot of things sports taught me. Those lessons had and have a significant impact on many aspects of my professional career and character.
Some are obvious. Some, though, have been eye opening the minute I reflected on events in the office and found comparable situations in the gym.
I want to share those lessons with you and hope it sparks some discussions or you have the same moments of sudden insights. If I inspire you to hit that one or other workout will make me even more happy.
#leadership #fitness #buildcharacter #corevalues
Few day days ago I had a discussion with a member of our gym about training and goals. The discussion evolved about making progress when I mentioned that I am having a coach supporting me on that part. The direct response was “I don’t need a coach! I’m neither a beginner nor do I want to do this professionally!”. Me neither. Still, I have a coach.
Before we get into some details why I have someone helping me with my fitness despite being a certified trainer myself as well as not having any aspirations (and talent :)) in doing this sport professionally, let us have a look at the feedback. Which, from my experience, is quite common in the fitness space.
Who hires a coach for their fitness goals?
You hire a coach on when you are new to the sport to teach you mechanics, movements and training principles. You get taught what is a squat and the 3 sets of 10 repetition scheme. Simply the basics. Usually, this is part of an intro or onboarding process in a gym. You also get a coach when you are at the top of the crop and want to get that 1% edge over your competitors. This is the point when he or she asks you to weigh and measure your food, track your sleep and wear heart rate monitors to analyze training and recovery.
It’s a fair assumption to say that 1 out of 10 fall under the newbie category whereas 1 out of 100 is the pro. Let’s not consider the wealthy 1% who hire a personal trainer just because they can afford it. What about the other 80% of folks who do know something about exercising but do not have professional ambitions?
The ones without a coach
There are a few who achieve very good results without coaching. In that case we usually find following commonalities: Those do some self study to deepen understanding of training principles and nutrition. They have a gym buddy with whom they can crush it. They are consistent in their effort. And most importantly: They enjoy doing sports!
Majority, though, just go workout for the sake of doing it. It’s a thing you have to do nowadays. But for them doing sports is hard. They have to force themselves to go to the gym. they simply go through the movements during their workouts without intent or intensity. They permanently look at the clock can’t wait for the session to end. They might even end up injured because of wrong movement patterns established over time. Rest days are celebrated. Every given chance a workout can be skipped is taken. The results are mediocre. Worst thing is when friends are asking surprised „Oh wow. Didn’t know you are going to the gym!“. Ouch! All the effort and it can’t be seen. Another reason to skip the gym.
Oh? Did I just describe your relationship to the gym? Sorry for that.
Who gets coaching in the professional realm?
We do experience a similar situation here. There are primarily two groups of people who get coaching (or mentoring) in an organization: New hires and the high potentials. New hires get introduced to the organization and team structure, the working model, receive SOPs and how to apply for vacation. Simply the basics. Usually, this is part of an intro or onboarding process in a corporation. On the other hand, there are the high potentials. The future leaders or board members. They receive coaching on leadership principles, presentation skills, core values and how to conduct difficult conversations with subordinates. So that they can have the edge over their peers and progress on that corporate ladder. In those cases coaching is sometimes even institutionalized. They get coaching “prescribed”.
The ones without mentoring
But what about the other most likely 80%? Same story as above. Some do self-study or trainings to improve their skill set or solve a problem they face at work. Those are the ones who come up with new ideas within their area of responsibility and e.g. introduce agile principles to a certain process, or learn how to write an automated query to create a report. They have good results and experience personal progress. And most importantly: They enjoy going to work. The others? They do their 9–5. They have little purpose or passion which is equal to not having any intent or intensity at working out. They constantly check the time they clocked in and can clock out again without decreasing their flexible work time balance. They can’t wait for the weekend to begin. They just do the job. And they do their job well but in today’s corporate performance assessment a good job is just mediocre (don’t try to tell me you are not averaging the target achievement within your department! It’s a lie :)). Worst thing is when their families and friends are asking „oh you are still doing the same job?“. Ouch. The daily grind and for what?
I did not describe your relationship to work but rather the one or the other of your direct reports? Sorry for that, too.
Why coaching is important for everyone
Don’t get me wrong. It is good and important that newbies get coaching, it’s also good that high potentials get equipped with additional skills they need to take on bigger responsibilities and thrive instead of survive on their leadership journey.
Coaching or mentoring is not to be seen as something which will progress you on the corporate ladder. Not everyone wants to pursue a managerial career. Also not everybody should. But, same as with fitness, I’m convinced that everyone in between the spectrum of rookie and high achiever should get some sort of coaching or mentoring. Here are the three reasons why.
A coach keeps you accountable
This is probably most simple but highly under applied aspect for coaching.
Let’s say you want to shed some pounds or eat healthier. A coach will help you to check if you did your workouts or if you stick to your diet.
Yeah I know this can also be easily done by yourself. However, truth be told is that few people do. And when they do, the are not effective. Because self assessment and discipline in any realm is biased and hard.
Think about the famous New-Years-Resolutions and what happens to them early in Feb?
A hack some people use to stay accountable, is to announce via social media their fitness goals. Just imagine you claim to lose 10lbs by March and your followers can observe (or not) in realtime your progress?
Whereas for some this kind of accountability might work, for others it is not the right approach. Considering the fact that in a professional context you might also have some things you would like to work on, which are just not supposed to be made public, it is actually not even an option.
When it comes to keep you accountable and have your goals in check, a coach does a terrific job. A coach ensures you stay on track in an intimate environment while supporting you in a neutral assessment and helps adjust your actual behavior towards the personal goal.
A coach ensures you are not blindly following learnt patterns
While a higher level of self-discipline can be the remedy for lack in accountability, this reason might be something you cannot solve by yourself.
Human beings are creatures of habits. Once learnt and consistently applied, it is very difficult to change a behavior.
In fitness, a very common area is of course diet. But it can also be sleep or exercise patterns. In my case, I was (and sometimes still am) struggling with internal rotating my shoulders when doing overhead movements. It was a pattern I developed over time by simply not knowing how to correctly position my scapula when inverted or having weights over my head. Without getting now too technical on body mechanics, the results where a) limited capacity and progress and b) unavoidably: injury.
It went so far that I had problems sleeping. I was simply not able lie on my tummy with my arms under the pillow as my shoulders were so tight and inflamed. The pain was real. It was only until I consulted a coach, who analyzed my movements and gave me the right cues and exercises to correct it. My shoulders said thank you and if I do not anything stupid (like competitive fitness :)) I am pain free.
In the professional world it is the same. We learn certain processes or behaviors, and apply them day by day in our daily life. How often did you hear the answer “It always has been done like this” when questioning a process you feel is not efficient? And there are a lot of them which are never questioned or revealed but just acknowledged as given. When we look at more soft topics, like relationships to peers or dynamics within the team, this concept gets even trickier.
I can’t count how many sleepless nights I had in the beginning of my leadership career, worrying about why some tasks could not be completed in time, why I was not being able to convince the CFO to get the budget or simply questioning if the strategy I was developing was the right one. The problem causing the most headache at that time was my inability to motivate one of my colleagues. I learnt that empowerment was a great thing and is something I personally appreciate when given by my boss. So I tried empower until infinity and beyond. Must be cool to have a boss who gives away tasks without strict supervision and guidance, right?
It was only until I asked the former Head of Strategy Asia Pacific for mentoring, when I got to learn the continuum of Skill-And-Will and Situative Leadership. The principle explains that depending on level of Will and Skill of the employee certain leadership is more effective. In this case for example, empowerment is best, when skill and will is high. Meaning the colleague is able to do the task — and also motivated to do so. If motivation is low, empowerment will lead to the assumption, that the task was just delegated because the boss doesn’t want to do it. The result is, that motivation gets lower and lower. Once realized, I quickly adapted my behavior to less delegation and more supporting to show that the task is important and I appreciate the work by contributing to the solution.
I’m forever thankful for this advice as this solved a lot of problems (and sleepless nights) on my end. Without the mentoring, I might still be delegating without success.
A coach helps you to get out of your comfort zone safely
The last reason for having a coach brings together the topic of accountability and breaking up with learnt patterns and adds an additional component: leaving your comfort zone.
Everybody knows, that when leaving the comfort zone the magic happens, that real growth starts when comfort ends etc. etc. No need to double down on that. What I want to focus on is the fact, that we fear not being able to leave our comfort zone in a controlled and save manner.
Looking at the gym, leaving the comfort zone is synonymous with going all out in the so-called Workout of the Day. This is a concept applied in CrossFit where the 1h session is finished with different exercises performed at highest intensity. Not seldom our athletes collapse at the end of the workout, drenched in sweat, catching for breath to then exchange high fives with others. The amount of endorphins which are emitted after such a workout is addictive. Also, studies reveal, that high intensity training is most effective for increasing fitness and capacity.
Yet, for a lot of people those kind of workouts are daunting. Because executed at highest intensity, the risk of performing the movements not well and therefore injury is high. Also, pushing yourself in a workout is related to physical pain. Nobody enjoys that.
My role as a coach is to ensure that with increased intensity, movements are still performed based on the points of performance as well as adjusting the intensity up or down depending on the capacity of the athlete. This I do with verbal or tactile cues which are easy to understand when the music is loud and the heart rate at 180bpm. The result is that our athletes getting fitter and stronger by the day. And most importantly: They enjoying doing fitness! I can’t count the number of times athletes thanking me for pushing them through a workout while being super proud of the fact that they have been able to complete it at all. This results in endorphins for me as well!
For majority of colleagues, at work the comfort zone ends where presentations for bigger audiences or senior management start. With my teams I experienced similar scenarios like after a high intensity workout: Drenched in sweat we high-fived each other after presenting our pitch to the board, celebrating the approved budget. Endorphin levels and energy are super high. What I can tell is that team cohesion and job satisfaction is higher when tough jobs have been accomplished together.
Yet, similar to the workout of the day, the presentation beforehand seems daunting. The audience can ask critical questions or might discover flaws in our strategy. With 180bpm heart rate it is not unusual that the right answer is not at hand. Depending on what board you are presenting, the chance to come back after an unsuccessful first attempt is low. Nobody likes that.
I can’t count how often colleagues have been super surprised when I asked them to take over a part or even the lead in a presentation to a board. But same as with the workout of the day, also here the execution requires coaching. In this case, I would refrain from tactile cues during a meeting. It just wouldn’t be a good idea to kick against the shin to indicate that something needs to change while having the audience in front of you. Also, as now we do most of our presentations remotely this is not even possible :). Instead, the coaching happens mostly before the presentation. We go through all kind of scenarios being prepared for any critical question. We reduce the message to the main points to be simple and concise to the audience and also not to confuse ourselves by trying to wrap too many words around the actual topic. We agree on exit strategies where I should take over. In other words, the coaching evolves around ensuring that the daunting character of the presentation is reduced and that the colleague feels save getting out of his or her comfort zone.
As a result I was lucky to experience so many happy faces, increased motivation and job satisfaction the minute colleagues were able to leave their comfort zone and rock the stage. Again endorphins for me as well!
Advice and Next Steps
Independent on which side you are of your current journey, being mentor or mentee, wanting to improve your fitness or career, I suggest you find yourself a coach you trust.
For fitness, this might be reaching out to your nearest local CrossFit Gym and sign up for a free trial or finding a trustworthy online coach. Unfortunately, there are a lot of “Fitfluencer” around who are more interested in your money than your fitness. If you need some advice what to look for feel free to reach out. I know some good guys and girls and I am happy to share their contacts with you.
For your professional career, don’t get caught up in the thinking that with the mentorship you need to advance your career vertically. Mentorships are, as described above, a great tool to improve work-life, breaking habits and once in a while getting out of your comfort zone. To find a mentor, think about someone in your organization you look up to. Either because of achievements or character. Do not look for management level. Just because someone is higher in the ranks will not guarantee also a personal fit. Also, don’t be scared to reach out to someone who you think is a good fit and who is higher in the ranks. Corporate mentorships should not be limited by skip-level and reporting lines. If they are in your organization, I would question the current culture.
If you are a mentor or would like to become one, you can start by proactively offering mentorship to colleagues you know. As an example, I approached a colleague not in my direct reporting line after having participated in a departmental performance assessment. The respective colleague was considered as performing well but there were also some areas for improvements discussed. Since then, we are good friends and are still in contact even after I left the organization.
If you get approached to offer a mentorship be open for it and do not shy back because of the effort which comes with it or, at least in the beginning, seemingly no benefit for you. The benefit can be improving your people skills or getting to know someone great you might hire for a different role at a different time. Making contacts and establishing a network is always beneficial. However, if you know that you won’t have sufficient time or that the character does not match, feel free to politely say no. There is no benefit for half-hearted sessions which are getting postponed because you can’t make them a priority in your calendar or because you are having awkward meetings due to no-fit of character. A mentorship session should get the highest priority same like a regular 1:1 with your subordinates.
What is your take on that? What are your experiences? I am happy to hear about your stories and if you agree or disagree with my view :)
Looking forward to your feedback!
Some FAQ I got asked in professional context for a mentorship which I want to answer very briefly:
Q: Should my mentor by my direct supervisor?
A: No. But he can. Depending on the topics you would like to improve or discuss it might be advisable to not look for a mentor within the same reporting line. The reason for that is that this relationship is usually biased by departmental or personal targets.
Q: Are there any formalities for a mentor-mentee relationship?
A: No real formalities but rather joint agreements. E.g. I usually expect my mentees to prepare themselves an agenda or topic(s) they would like to discuss. From my experience, sessions where mentor and mentee meet without a clear target will be unproductive.
Q: Advisable to get a mentor outside of the organization? Paid mentorship?
A: Outside of organization yes. Paid no. Why? The mentor is investing his or her time and has some knowledge and should be reimbursed for that? From my point of view, a mentor-mentee relationship should have benefits for both sides and hence do not require fees. If you as a mentor feel that there is no benefit for you in this relationship, simply don’t agree on a mentorship.
Q: I am interested in a certain role. Should I ask the manager of that role for a mentorship?
A: No. For me, the whole purpose of a mentorship is the honest assessment of a current topic you would like to work on. In a mentorship relation like that, you would tend to say and do whatever you feel your mentor would like so that you are interesting for him or her as a hire. This forfeits the purpose. If, as a result of a mentorship, you get hired, this is perfectly fine, but I would not make it a prerequisite for the mentorship. From perspective of the mentor, I would also not like it. Can be seen as a hidden agenda which for me is a no-go.